SGAU - Returning Claire

"Crowley" Sophia greeted the king of Hell as he appeared in the living room.

"Sophia Midnight. Why did you interrupt my rant at the moose and squirrel?"

"I'm cashing in that favour you owe me" Sophia answered. The king of Hell raised an eyebrow at that.

"I'm listening"

"I need you to put a soul back here in their own body"

"What would you need one of my souls for? They're all dark down there"

"Not all. Do you remember the time machine experiment that I told you about while you were staying with us?"

"The one where she was sent to die by her boss?" Sophia nodded. "Yeah, I remember. I take it you want her back"

"Yes. Hershel has had his depressed moments in the past, particularly after he lost her, and with me and Desmond getting together they've returned. I need to do something before he does something stupid with permanent consequences"

"And you want to give him his girl back. Why do you think I have her?"

"Because Azi checked upstairs and she wasn't there, Crowley checked limbo and she wasn't there, therefore she has to be with you. She shouldn't be too hard to find amongst the dark souls under your domain"

"I know where she is, but you won't like it"

"What do you mean?"

"It'll take some explanation, have we got time?"

"Des took Hershel out for the afternoon with all the youngsters, they'll be occupied for the rest of the afternoon. If not Des said he'd warn me when they were on the way back. Take a seat" Sophia told him, gesturing to the nearby seat as she broke the demon trap. Crowley sat in the seat as Sophia sat opposite. Two glasses appeared on the table between them as they sat, one filled with whiskey while the other filled with wine.

"Alright then, explain why I won't like it"

"Her manner of death determined that she had to end up in my realm, but she was meant to be an angel, as a result she's become a demon."

"Your point?"

"Like the ones in cartoons, with the bat wings and tail"

"Has her personality changed?

"She's very quiet, tends to hide and vanish for hours on end. I've only seen her smile twice, and that's after I've checked in on Baker Street and it's extended family. She asks after Layton a lot"

"Then it'll be fine" Crowley gave the werewolf a look that asked 'are you sure?'; making the werewolf put the now empty wineglass down and look the king of Hell in the eye.

"Crowley, you've been watching this family closely for a while now, but haven't popped in recently, so you won't know that me and Des have adopted three kids. There are six year old twins; one of which is a half-vampire and the other a werewolf, with child number three being a baby girl who is actually half dragon. There is no other family in the world that they would fit into, which is my point" Sophia glared at Crowley as he opened his mouth to interrupt. He shut it so Sophia continued.

"We are the weirdest family in existence. There is no better place for her than here where she'll fit in perfectly. You find another family in the world that includes three unrelated werewolves, two unrelated half-vampires, a hybrid, an angel, a fae, a part-vampire-part-human-part-angel child, a part-fae-part-werewolf child, the Guardian of the East Gate of Eden, the snake of the garden of Eden, two vampire brothers, a vampire stuck in bat form, a perfectly human girl and a half dragon baby. There will never be another family like us, she'll fit in perfectly"

"If I do this, you'll have to do something for me in return"

"I thought I'd already done my part, isn't that the idea of a favour?"

"You'll need that in the future and I need something done for me related to the little incident in question"

"Now I'm curious, what would you need me to do?"

"Not too much, just find the guy who planned the experiment knowing it would explode and kill people. I can't just release a soul from Hell, I need to keep the books balanced"

"So you'd take him down to Hell in Claire's place?" Crowley nodded.

"Alright, that's fair enough. Could you bring Claire back in the next few hours?"

"Fine, but that'll limit how long you have to find him"

"How much limiting are we talking?"

"You'll have four days before questions start being asked"

"I can find him in that time, but what will I have to do to get him to you?"

"Bring him here, I'll take it from there"

"Then it's a deal"

"I'd seal it the usual way, but your other half would tear me apart, so we can just shake on it" Sophia nodded and shook hands with the King of Hell. Sophia cringed at the momentary burn as she pulled her hand away, which she quickly examined. On the palm of her hand there was a small pentacle, inside which was the number four.

"A countdown? Is that really necessary?" The werewolf demanded, to which Crowley nodded before vanishing. Sophia leaned against the back of the sofa with a sigh, remaining there for a few seconds. Before she managed to get up, the sound of the TARDIS filled the otherwise silent room. Sophia grabbed her phone and answered.

"Why did you just meet with Crowley?"

"You just heard the entire conversation Mycroft, you know why"

"...I didn't think you'd find the bugs so quickly"

"Well I did. I was just about to call you anyway to s-"

"You want me to find Bill Hawks"

"I'd appreciate the help"

"It's easily done, just be careful when dealing with Crowley"

"Thank you for the concern, but I don't think he'll dare mess with me, I've already kicked his ass twice" with that said, Sophia ended the call and leaned back on the sofa.

There were no interruptions for the next few hours and as a result Sophia nodded off where she sat. She was woken by the reappearance of the King of Hell with Claire.

"I'll leave this one with you, just remember the deal" was all Crowley said before he vanished again.

"Claire, have a seat"

"Sorry, we woke you"

"It's fine, I was only using the quiet to get some sleep, there's not a lot of that around here these days"

"What do you mean? Last time Crowley came back with news he said everything was going well and all was calm."

"Well, since Crowley last checked in two major things have occurred to disturb the quiet of the house. Firstly, Desmond and I got engaged, which was a plan brought forward by the second major event. We adopted three kids."

"Oh, that explains a few things"

"Yes, it also stepped up this plan to get you back. Me and Des being a couple with kids to take care of made Hershel realise that he's almost a singe parent, which he didn't take as a good thing."

"He always wanted to have a real family"

"Well now he can, if you'd want to join him again of course" the latter part was tacked on as an afterthought, making Claire laugh.

"Of course I want to..."

"But?"

"Will he still accept me with these?"

"Yes, he will. He went to the bookshop to see Aziraphale and Crowley and asked them to find you. He's desperate to have you back"

As if on cue, the sound of the TARDIS rang through the room, making Sophia reach for her phone.

"That's the warning, they're headed home now" Sophia explained as Claire gave her a questioning look. The sound was repeated a moment later, Mycroft this time.

"And now I need a plan that I can sort out in four days that gets Bill Hawks here" she muttered to herself.

<><>Timeskip<><>

The sound of the door halted the quiet conversation the women were having. Sophia headed to the door to greet everyone as they returned, Claire started to follow but was told to sit back down. The demon dropped herself down in Hershel's armchair.

The moment Sophia got within sight of the door, Matty and Mia ran to her.

"Did you two have a good afternoon?"

"It was great! We went to the park and then we went to the sweet shop and we got some ice cream and went back to the park again" They answered in unison. Sophia laughed and placed them back on the floor as Desmond stood by her side. The vampire handed her Jenny and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"These two have unlimited amounts of energy, they haven't stopped moving all afternoon. Jenny has been the opposite, she's been asleep most of the afternoon"

"Children tend to have unlimited energy, only made worse when given sweeties and ice cream"

"Did you get anything done this afternoon?"

"Your brother's reaction to the living room should be enough to answer your question" Sophia pointed out the younger vampire that was standing frozen in the doorway.

"Claire?"

"Yes Hershel" with that answer, Hershel disappeared from sight. Desmond nodded to Sophia and the pair ushered the children back out of the house to give the pair some time to catch up undisturbed.

<><><>Timeskip to that evening<><><>

Sophia dropped into the sofa and snuggled against Desmond's side. The vampire chuckled and wrapped an arm around the werewolf, then set aside the work he'd been marking to give her some attention.

"You're thinking about something" Sophia gave a 'hmm' of agreement and showed him the mark on the palm of her hand.

"Why four?"

"Four days until people start questioning Crowley about Claire's location. Because I asked for Claire's return, I have to help balance the numbers out again by giving him the soul that should have been there" it took a minute for Desmond to work out who she was referring to.

"You have to give him Bill Hawks"

"Uh huh. Thanks to Mycroft I already know where he is, but now I have to find a way to get him here so Crowley can collect him"

"Why can't you just tell him where Hawks is?"

"Because Crowley can't find him no matter what he tries, meaning that he's likely to be well protected from demons"

"So you have to find a way to get him here, where we can get rid of any protection he may have"

"The question is the how"

"How to get rid of protection spells or how to get him here?"

"How to get him here"

"Dinner, the dining room is big enough for the entire family and a few extras" Sophia considered the idea for a moment before looking up at the vampire with an evil grin.

"That's perfect...but who would be cooking?"

"Send the invitation with Hershel as host, then we can work together in the kitchen. Make sure it's late so that the kids are all in bed, I don't want them to see Hellhounds tear someone apart"

"I agree with that. Do you think Hershel will be okay with me inviting a few others?"

"Depends which others" Hershel answered as he entered the room.

"Clive Dove and Dimitri Allen, possibly Don Paulo too, though that isn't likely"

"Why do you want to invite them?"

"Because they all fell foul of Bill Hawks one way or another, I think they deserve to see his end" Sophia pointed out.

"I don't have any problems with that" Hershel told her. "It is only fair"

"It's settled then, I'll start making preparations and calling people" Sophia attempted to get up and do so, but was stopped by Desmond.

"It's nearly midnight, sort it in the morning" he told her. The werewolf nodded, settling against his side once  again.

<><><>Timeskip<><><>

"I was wondering when you two were going to get here"

"I was attempting to get the angel to wear something other than tartan to your little dinner. He's very stubborn" the demon explained, gesturing to Aziraphale in his tartan suit.

"It's alright boys, it's a few hours before dinner will be ready. We just need your help beforehand"

"How can we help?"

"Are you aware of the current situation?"

"You made a deal with the King of Hell and need to bring this Bill person here so the name
ssstealer can take him in Claire's place. How can we help with that?"

"Said King of Hell can't track him down, but it was easy for Mycroft so I presume that he is surrounded by all sorts of charms that prevent him being found,we need your knowledge of all the variations of these spells and for you to find a way to disable them as he walks through the door. Can you do that?"

"It issss, but why should we?"

"Because the man in question knowingly sent a woman to her death and killed eleven others in the process so he could prove it didn't work. Outside the fact that one of those people is a part of this family, what other reason should there be for sending him to Hell where he belongs?" At that, the angel and demon got to work drawing the necessary symbols around the door and in the hallway.

<><><>Timeskip a few hours<><><>

"Is that everyone?"

"Yes. We'll have dinner before we have our fun though. False sense of security" Sophia told him. She nudged the welcome mat back into place to hide the spell-cancelling signs once again.

"Go and entertain your guests Hershel while I help Desmond finish the food."

"What abou-?"

"She's with the kids at the moment, she'll bring out dessert with me later"

<><>>><>Timeskip<><>>>>>

"Perhaps getting all of us together wasn't the best idea" Clive said to Desmond as he watched Dimitri and Bill glare at each other.

"Well you would have been here anyway" Desmond pointed out.

"That's true"

"Why? What am I missing?" John questioned, looking away from the glaring match to join the conversation.

"Clive has just recently been released from prison due to my previous adventures and we wanted to extend an invitation to him to join us" Hershel anserwed for his brother, getting everyone's attention.

"Why would you open your doors to a stray who almost killed you?" Bill questioned.

"Because the past is forgotten and he has nowhere else to go"

"You currently live in the house he used to" Mycroft pointed out.

"Do you take in every stray that turns up on your doorstep?" Sophia smirked at that, sending a pointed look in Aziraphale and Crowley's direction. The pair grinned in reply as looks were exchanged across the table.

"We're already a family of strays, one more won't do any harm. He wouldn't fit in anywhere better than here" Desmond responded, everyone else too busy smothering laughter to do so.

"The more connections you have, the better. You should know that one Bill" Dimitri added.

"Only one connection mattered in the end, so you swiftly extinguished the others, not caring how much damage to others you would cause" Clive continued.

"I've apologised many times for what happened at the lab, it was an accident"

"No it wasn't. If I could calculate that it wouldn't work then so could you, but you went ahead with it anyway"

"There's a reason he did it Dimitri, look at the back of his left hand. Can you see the demon tattoo?" Sophia pointed out.

"You made a deal, the new job for a soul, a pure soul specifically. There aren't many people you know that could have that, leaving you with one option, Claire." she continued. At that point, Claire stepped out of the kitchen. Any colour in Bill's face drained away at the sight of the demon, her wings and  tail revealed as she stepped closer to Hershel at the table.

"You may have gotten the promotion you asked for but the other end of the deal wasn't sealed, Claire was simply left to roam Hell" Aziraphale explained.

"Why? What happened to the demon supposed to collect her?" Bill questioned.

"He had a little incident with some Holy water and ended up liquified. It took me weeks to get him out of my carpet" Crowley answered smugly.

"You killed a demon?"

"One who fell the same time as me" Crowley continued to be smug.

"You're a demon too?"

"Crowley, former serpent of the garden of Eden. Aziraphale is the former Guardian of the East gate of Eden. I believe the rest of the monsters are about to show themselves"

"Quite right Crowley" Desmond said. Bill turned his attention from the two with the wings to look at him, the vampire now showing his fangs. Sophia's eyes were yellow and the outline of a set of wolf earswas visible above her head. The rest of the table revealed their true forms or at least gave some hint to them, minus Dimitri who was as human as they come. Even Clive had a dark aura around him which suggested necromancy or some form of voodoo, though the former was actually more likely.

"You're all monsters?" Bill managed to say.

"All apart from Dimitri, but I think you'll find that we're not the ones you need to worry about" Sophia's comment was finished by growling nearby that all the occupants of the room recognised. Bill paled even further than anyone thought possible as the Hellhounds approached him followed by the King of Hell. Those who didn't want to watch wandered out of the room, Sophia among them.

"Remember Crowley, no blood on the carpet!" She shouted over her shoulder before the Hellhounds attacked.